BY10 - Mr. Sinus






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Friday, March 12, 2010

4:39 - Leave the secret place.

5:02 - Cleared US-1 traffic.

5:25 - Stop at Mommie Joe's. Went to the bathroom while waiting for my food, and I spotted a dollar bill in trash. Now that is the textbook definition of a dilemma!

5:40 - Back on US-1.

5:58 - Traffic on US-1, just south of I-95, comes to a standstill. Damn, haven't these motherfuckers heard of public transportation???

6:07 - Clear the slowdown, caused by some dumbass who got himself pulled over in rush-hour traffic. DOUCHEBAG!!!

6:09 - Hit the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Despite the light rain, drive was smooth and went by fairly quickly thanks to podcasts like the SXSW Preview and a discussion with Broken Bells combined with anagramming 8s with the high-point tiles.

7:38 - My mind starts to drift westward, and I relieve fond memories of trips to Alaska, Hawaii, and the Pacific Northwest.

7:53 - I see a black shape across the opposing lanes of traffic, and I genuinely think it's the Smoke Monster from Lost!!! It takes a few seconds for me to realize I'm just looking at treetops.

9:34 - Stop for gas and run into the service area.

9:37 - Return to the car to discover that no gas had been pumped. Thanks for wasting 2 minutes of my time, um, nozzle design engineer or whatever your stupid job is.

??? - Have to deal with a stupid bitch in silver car whose lights are too bright. I repeatedly speed up to get far ahead of her and then slow down to 70 (to avoid a ticket), and each time she speeds up to catch me but does not pass--she just takes a position behind me, too close. Twice I let her pass and get behind her and start flashing and turning off my lights and honking, because that's the only way I have to communicate with her. I also weave in and out of the lanes, trying to convince her I'm crazy or drunk so she'll stay away. She doesn't seem to get the lesson. A few miles later we reach the toll plaza, and I hear the bitch yelling out to me something like "CRAZY!!!". Yeah, well, duh, that was the point, to make her think I was crazy. So if I'm CRAZY, WHY THE FUCK ISN'T SHE KEEPING HER DISTANCE? Here's a tip for everybody who drives--DON'T FOLLOW THE CRAZY DRIVER!!!

11:40 - Finished anagramming the set of 8s that include the high-point tiles, a task spurred by Cesar's post about playing JAROVIZE and Koenig's subsequent ragging on me for not knowing it.

11:55 - Portage service plaza.



Saturday, March 13, 2010

7:40

8:00 - 53 miles to go.

8:52 - Pulled up to the Elyria Holiday Inn and recognized it from another tourney a coupla years back. It's a fairly unusual tournament venue because it's right next to a strip club, Club 57... that appears to be closed down. Geez, guys, what a way to tease. I like the thinking behind choosing a venue next to a strip club, but couldn't you have a picked a club that was still operating?

8:54 - Walk up to the doors to see a leprechaun smoking under the awning--wait, no, it was actually Karen Lee, all in green, looking like she lost a bet!

Speaking of bets, who did I see upon walking inside than Brian Blowman, I mean Bowman, himself. He congratulated me, begrudgingly no doubt, and I quickly pulled some money out of my pocket and paid him the very special bills I had prepared. Best $25 I ever paid out, in my opinion. Actually, that's not true. There was that 20-year-old homeless chick in Portland for whom $25 was worth a heck of a lot of gratitude, if you know what I mean.

Went into the playing to check in and nearly did a double-take when I saw Dan Stock, who apparently confused St. Patrick's Day with the local drag queen parade. I can't believe his wife let him walk out of the looking like that.

I spotted Terry and asked about my equipment, and she pointed me in the direction of Dorky, I mean Dorcas, who led me to the board that I'd lost just 2 weeks after buying it from Sam.

Back outside the room, some player sitting on the couch with his sleeves rolled up enough to expose heavily tattooed arms. Dude, give it up--no matter how many tats you get, you're still not going to be cool if you play tournament Scrabble.

A few minutes later Jason Idalski showed up sporting a haircut. Okay, that's one fewer reason for us to make fun of him, but I'm sure his annotated games will make up for that.

Steve Grob. Green beard. Wrong.

You know what else is wrong? A larger field than Hudson, and despite this I was once against the only person of Color in the field? We've all heard that the Midwest is pretty White, but this ain't exactly Iowa or Nebraska we're talking about here? Shoot, Dan calls it the Purple & Green, but what about the Black & Brown? So what's up, my peoples out there--don't leave me all alone to represent yo. Next Cleveland-area tournament I'd better see some color in the field or I'm hitting up the ACLU, the NAACP, La Raza, and all that, yo!!!

First round, I fell victim to the wackiest pairing system ever. Brian Blowchunks, I mean Bowman, the #2 player, playing me at #1??? I think Dan did that on purpose so I couldn't break my 11-game record winning streak.

Annotated Game


I returned from the restroom and asked Carol Ravichandran if she was ready. "Sure, whatever fits into your schedule," she replied. Carol, Carol, Carol--getting snarky??? Ooh, bring it on (and she did try).

Annotated Game


Next up, one goofy looking motherfucker if I ever saw one, Libero Paolella. Meanwhile, Terry Kang was over in the Venice talking about all these hot Italian studs she was meating. I doubt she was referring to Libero types.

Annotated Game


I couldn't claim to be demoralized, so I really had not excuse for going over to the mall for Yuck-fil-a, except to save time so I could keep up the blogging. Except, there was no Yuck-fil-a!!! Damn, that's like putting the moves on a fat chick and having her turn you down.

Ordered a crappy cheesesteak from some place called Charley's instead, and while I waited I noticed the pair of Paul Blart's keeping an eye on the food court. Yeah guys, don't let your guards down. Your job is soooooo important. You never know when the terrorists are going to come blow up some shitty mall in some one-horse Ohio town.

Are you kidding me??? As I was leaving the food court I tossed the wrapper from my sandwich into a trash receptable and noticed that it was practically empty. Despite this, a gray-haired lady changed the bag anyway. Really? She had to waste a whole plastic bag for that? Was she stupid (probably), or was she just following directions from mall management (they're probably stupid too). There should really be a minimum IQ for janitorial work.

Kit Morehead - Annotated Game

Lisa Slankard - Annotated Game

Paul Epstein - Annotated Game

Dorky - Annotated Game

Definitely needed a massage after that anal raping, and I headed out to Zen Studio in Cleveland. The therapist, Melanie, was smoking hot, but she was also a fitness trainer and former bodybuilder. This was disappointing becuase one of the main reasons I get massage is so that the therapist will compliment me on my physique (it's just not the same coming from the guys in the gym at work). Needless to say, I wasn't going to get any kudos for my working out, not from a fitness trainer. On top of that, she wasn't very accomodating, if you know what I mean.

Another downside of that massage was that I ended up in the city, and in a part of town where it was hard to find a gas station with a microwave to head up my leftovers. When I finally found one, the goofy-looking man, Middle Eastern in appearance, looking at me like I was a crazy terrorist when I asked if I could use the microwave if I bought gas. I can't blame him completely, because that neighborhood appeared rough, and full of knuckleheads who are probably really up to no good. I do so hate the ghetto. The U.S. government spends all this money bombing the shit out of Iraq and Afghanistan, but they can't drop a few bombs on Cleveland??? Cheap.



Sunday, March 14, 2010

7:47 - Had to get up earlier than I'd wanted because some dumbass (me) had failed to save the tournament flyer on my laptop, and I couldn't remember if the start time was 9:00 or 8:30. Combined with the daylight saving time change, I had to order a venti to make it through the day.

Attracted by the "not from concentrate" label, I picked up a large container of the Market District brand orange juice from Giant Eagle. Nasty.

Up first, Keith Cjemer, who looked nothing like the person I'd played at the Orlando NSC. I'm not sure what had been influencing him more over the years, Elton John videos or the movie Beetlejuice.

Annotated Game


After that game I was 0-6 on blanks, and I felt I was definitely owed some going into my game against Jason Idalski. Not that I thought I necessarily needed them, given the way he was playing. I used to refer to him as the Basilisk, when he seemed to be good, but now I'm thinking Flaccidisk is a more apt nickname.

Annotated Game


Outside in the hallway, some older lady who thinks I can't hear (b/c I'm wearing earphones) comments about how I'm "doing [my] words" while "yadda yadda" and "listening to [something] at the same" time. Wow, she can see. Despite the glasses. Amazing.

Next game, Jeff Fiszbeing, aka Fishy McShakyhands, the only player in the field who wanted to shake before every game. Most annoying, and so unhygienic, especially when the hand-extender has been spotted not washing his hands when leaving the bathroom. Granted, I didn't actually see what he was doing in the bathroom, but I have to assume the worse. If I go into a bathroom just to brush my hair, and somebody walks in, I wash my hands regardless just to set a good example. Anyway, I asked if he was having a better day than me, and Fishy said yes, he'd just won two games he had no business winning. Well, he had no business winning our game, not after what he opened with...

Annotated Game


Ah, finally, a matchup with Chris Lipe, or Limpe, based on how he was doing.

Annotated Game


Meanwhile, Dan's garb had gotten progressively weirder. I think he was wearing a dead animal at one point. And now, a cape. Good thing a school tournament wasn't being held in conjunction, because he would have scared the children.

Meanwhile, on the garb topic, Limpy was so pissed at his performance that he decided to go all Unibomber (you had to see it).

Steve Grob. Green beard. Still wrong.

Fishy again - Annotated Game

Final game, for 2nd and a ratings boost, Paul Epstein heartbreaking - Annotated Game


Middle of the night - GOOD LORD MAN, HAS THIS BOWELMAN CHARACTER NO SHAME--FIRST HE LUCKS INTO WIN AFTER WIN, AND THEN HE HAUNTS MY DREAMS??? Coulda been worse though--coulda been Dan's scary transgenderd clown creature.



Monday, March 15, 2010

Damn, but that is one dorky looking picture! Couldn't anybody lend brotherman a shirt? What about a razor? What about a board that's not puked-colored? And oh, look at that, there's a link to purchase the photo--really? Waitaminute--I may just buy one, but you don't wanna know what for. Come to think of it, all the pictures are goofy. What is wrong with Scrabblers--can't anybody take a good picture!!!



Analysis

#1 - L - Bowman    
---------------    
2.1 UPO  
0 QIS  
0 (C)OO  
0 ENSNAR(E)D  
4.4 GULF  
4.6 BO(R)ER  
17.3 L(E)VO  
0 LAPID(A)TE  
0 U(N)WOVE  
0 JEW  
22.8 MM Ma(R)KSMEN
     
     
#2 - W - Ravichandran    
---------------------    
5.5 (T)ZAR  
0 FOWL  
0 FOND(L)eRS  
0 VErSINE  
4.6 WA(D)MAL WA(D)MOL
0 PI(V)OT  
2.1 YIN  
0 (R)EI  
9.8 HEH  
0 CAN(O)E  
0 (T)ORTOISE  
0 J(I)B  
     
     
#3 - W - Paolella    
-----------------    
0 ZONAEO  
0 DUI  
0 FAIRIES  
2.6 MOOR  
0 T(H)ALAMUS  
2.9 TAG  
0 TOTED  
0 VINO  
3.8 CANE(D)  
1.7 QUAK(Y)  
0 JE(S)SE  
0 PI(T)Y  
     
     
#4 - W - Morehead    
-----------------    
11 C(A)RTOOnY  
2.7 (A)UTOMatS aSTOM(O)Us,sc(R)OTUMS,Th(R)OMbUS,TU(R)MOilS,p(R)OTiUMS,Su(R)MOUnT,sT(R)UMOuS,sT(R)UMOSe
4.1 AP(O)  
0 (S)AUTERNE  
11.6 FAIN  
18.4 ZI(t)  
1.5 J(O)RAM  
4.2 HO HALLO(O)
12.4 SLANG  
6 K(a)  
0 LOUVRES  
0 XI  
0 WIGAN  
0 QAT  
     
     
#5 - W - Slankard    
-----------------    
3.2 LEND  
7.8 FEE  
0 RAINY  
0 PREY  
0 (R)ITZ  
16 DE(Z)INC PIONE(RE)D
6.7 (S)POOF  
0 (D)RAINInG  
8.7 SLUR  
3.6 A(J)EE  
0 AH  
27.6 (MU)N LEV(E)RET
48 DRAT  
0 L(A)VE  
     
     
#6 - W - Epstein    
----------------    
2.6 JANE FAENA
4.1 FOY ABYI(N)G,FAYI(N)G
2.4 SWIG/G(rUNKLEs)*  
18.2 BAD(E)  
0 TORII  
0 F(r)AIL  
0 ATTOR(N)ED  
0* ZED  
10.4 MAG  
3 WINO  
0 TON  
     
     
#7 - L - Alexander    
------------------    
1.6 AGIO  
30.6 challenge HuMVEES  
9.9 DIPT  
4.1* RE(M)ET  
0.8 FIEL(D)  
0 BE(A)RLIKE  
0.9* TAME  
0* L(O)RD  
16.6 (QUAI)L  
0 WRITE  
0 WU(D)  
0 V(A)RS  
     
     
#8 - W - Cjemer    
---------------    
0 BUMP  
1.1 FRA(C)TI FRA(C)TUR
0 W(O)ULD  
0 QI  
0 VAS  
0 (S)WUNG  
0 RAN(D)Y  
0 ATHELIN(G)  
0 MORT  
0 HOSTILE HOLIEST overlap
0 FARCED  
     
     
#9 - L - Idalski    
----------------    
2.9 BROOD 8D  
4.6 JIN JOIN
6 COOS  
15.6 FE  
0 VAGUER  
3.1 K(A)VA  
0 (T)HAE  
0 I(D)EA  
8.4 S(N)OOP  
37.5 lose turn ((A)MEHS*)  
0 XI  
0 F(AX)  
54 MENSH fL(E)HMENS
     
     
#10 - L - Fiszbein    
------------------    
0.2 HEME  
1.5 OBI  
8.6 FAT  
6.9 QAT  
0.8 ENVY  
5.3 KOEL  
39.4 REXINES  
3.8 HALERS  
9.3 PROD UP(G)IRD
6.9 (G)ENII  
5.3 OU(T)ED  
25.7 UREA  
2 WI(Z)  
     
     
#11 - W - Lipe    
--------------    
2.8 C(O)RTEX  
0 BELOW  
0 MURMUR(ED)  
0.7 HAFTS  
15.3 DOLL hOLLOA(E)D,hALLOO(E)D
0.6 AZO  
3.7 vEERERS*  
8 YA(G)I  
2.2 KANJI  
0 QI  
     
     
#12 - W - Fiszbein    
------------------    
2.4 zEOLITE  
1.3 U(N)nAILED  
0 ST(I)NGY  
2.3 VALSE  
0 ZOO  
0 EUNUCH  
0 Q(U)ANT  
0 VEX  
13.3 PAD(N)AG  
11.3 P(E)ND  
9.8 (W)REN  
15 (z)EAL  
0 RO(B)  
     
     
#13 - L - Epstein    
-----------------    
7.8 B(R)UME B(R)AVURE
0 (N)AVY  
1.5 DETAINS  
0 BEFIT  
4.5 PALPIeR* PuPILAR
3.5 ZE(T)A  
1.4 JO  
3.1 AHA  
0 (PI)KE  
24.5 COOE(D)  
0* GIT  


1 - L - 4.7 (51.4)
2 - W - 1.8 (22)
3 - W - 0.9 (11)
4 - W - 5.1 (71.9)
5 - W - 8.7 (121.6)
6 - W - 3.7 (40.7)
7 - L - 5.4 (64.5)
8 - W - 0.1 (1.1) ALMOST PERFECT!!!
9 - L - 10.2 (132.1)
10 - L - 8.9 (115.7)
11 - W - 3.3 (33.3)
12 - W - 4.3 (55.4)
13 - L - 4.2 (46.3)


Avg: 4.7



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