BY18 - The Candy Date






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Friday, May 7, 2010

With screenings of the Friday release of Iron Man 2 beginning at midnight on Thursday, my Friday morning would ordinarily have been a sleep-deprived affair. With the exception of X-Men Origines: Wolverine, and films that did not have early screenings in my area, I had attended the first screening of every superhero release since 2000's X-Men. Thursday night would have been no different, had it not been for my eagerly-anticipated date with Candy.

Not that it would have mattered if I had been fatigued, or overly late (just a few minutes, looking for cheap parking, as is my wont), given the tiles I drew against Mark Berg. Unfortunately I quickly squandered all that spread by losing my next game, to Dave Leonard (the eventual winner), in large part to challenging a crazy word, (MIDWIFE)S*. Who'da thunk that was good?

After picking up a win against Mark Przybyszewski on an ugly, ugly board, I was still good shape to win the tournament, but a late bingo by Vince Castellano (UPROUSE--gotta credit him for that) made things a lot harder for me. Truth be told (and what is my blog if not the living word of truth), I might have won despite his bingo if had I not made several suboptimal plays before that.

Freakishly enough, after four rounds, much of the field was at two wins, and that meant that after after beating Jason Ubieka I could still win the tournament. Unfortunately, because I had blown those two earlier games, the tile gods decided to punish me, and I was straight up outdrawn in my rematch with Przybyszewski, aka Kick-Ass. That game left me disgusted, not so much by Mark's draw as by the fact that I had blown the two games I was supposed to win. I was thus out of the money, and looking at a ratings drop, and I pretty much phoned in my final game, against Jason again.


I suppose no matter what had happened, my mind wouldn't have been on that final game, because as the evening approached, all I could think about was my date with Candy. I promised not to reveal her last name (most certainly not Kwon), so let's just say it's "Graham".

I met Candy via a discussion forum for the television show Lost. I had found of of her comments insightful, and replied to her post with a few comments of my own. We got into a back-and-forth, and at some point she decided to send me her direct e-mail address.

We exchanged messages in a rapid flurry over the course of a few days, and I soon discovered that we had so much in common that it was scary. Besides Lost and other well-written television shows, we were both into films, literary, music, and a host of other activities. Surprisingly, Candy had never visited a Starbucks coffee shop, but I quickly forgave her that given how compatible she seemed to be.

I anticipated this Candy date so much that I was even willing to find a motel room to rent for an hour just so I could shower before driving up to Toronto, but that turned out to be unnecessary. Jason seemed a little bit distraught by his loss, and while I hugged him in pretend consolation I slipped his keycard from his pocket and, with Shelley still involved in her game, I snuck up to their room for a quick shower. I figured Jason would just assume he dropped the card and remain forever oblivious as to what really happened.

I usually cross the Canadian border to visit some new Starbucks, and that explanation gets me interrogated and/or searched half the time, but that night I was able to say "hot date with a 21-year-old college student", and that got me a wave and a smile from the young border agent.

I knew Candy was a good prospect when, after I told her about the Buffalo tournament and suggested meeting, she immediately said Iron Man 2 was opening that weekend and suggested going. Can you believe that? Not only is Candy into sci-fi, but she was eagerly awaiting the film. Granted, she had already been planning to see the film with friends, but we'd be having dinner on our own, thus there was no ambiguity about whether this was a "date" or not.

I met Candy at Ajira, one of Toronto's most well reviewed restaurants. I'm not big on Indian food myself, but I knew from her profile that Candy liked it, and I long ago learned that conceding to the other person's tastes is an essential part of building a good relationship. Still, I have no complaints about the lamb biryani, and when we left the restaurant I was confident that the evening was off to a good start.

We met Candy's friends at the Cineplex Galaxy, and everyone seemed to thoroughly enjoy Iron Man 2. I could hardly believe that Candy had friends who were so knowledgeable about the genre--it's hard to find people who can intelligently relate the comic book films to their printed counterparts. In fact, it turned out that Candy not only read comic books, but she was a bit of an aspiring artist too. Her major was technically physics, but she prided herself on taking being well-rounded and had taken her share of art and philosophy courses. Her words: "I mean I guess you could call me a physicist--I don't really like being pigeonholed".

It was late, well past midnight, but Candy seemed to have a lot of energy, and I certainly did not want to look like a tired old man, so we headed over to a local coffee shop, Jet Fuel Coffee. After about an hour, Candy popped the question--that is to say, she asked if I wanted to go back to her apartment. I really hadn't expected the night to go in that direction, no so soon, but tournament or no tournament, I couldn't turn down her offer.

Yeah, I was already hellah tired when we reached her place, but unbeknowst to me, Candy had a little surprise planned that made things a whole lot easier for me. Turned her friend, Charlie, who had been staying with her for a few days had left in a hurry and forgotten a bag. When Candy went to put it away, a small bag of white powder fell out. Candy called Charlie to ask about it, and he admitted that it was cocaine and told her she could keep it. Candy had been thinking about the "nose candy" (if you will), for weeks and wondering if she should try it, and she finally figured that since she was already doing something for the first time (meeting a guy off the Internet), she might as well try cocaine for the first time. Given the situation (you had to see this girl), I couldn't really say no.

Think is, before we left the coffee shop I had gone into the bathroom and taken a very special little blue pill. Now don't get me wrong--there is nothing wrong with my manhood. I can get it up just as good as the next guy, but I'd learned from experience that these young women can be insatiable. Another young woman I'd recently dated wanted to have sex all the time, many times a night, and frankly I wasn't a young man anymore. Well, I didn't even think to consider what the effects of cocaine and Viagra would be, but let's just say they were dramatic. I had zero problems giving Candy what she needed that night. Not to get to graphic, but one of the effects of the two drugs was that even after I climaxed I was able to keep going like a jackhammer while Candy was screaming "don't stop, DON'T STOP!!!"

Yes, Candy had a freewheeling spirit and slammin' 21-year-old body that I appreciated very, very much, but I appreciated her youth for a completely different reason. Candy was confirmation of my belief that college women are the best possible women to date, and that it's just not worth the risk of dating women over the age of 25. To be clear, there's nothing wrong with older women, if you are already involved, but trying to start a relationship becomes more and more risky as the women gets older. The reason is simple--the older the woman, the more experience she has at stabbing men through the heart and destroying their souls. Furthermore, older women, if still single, tend to be jaded and angry at the world, and they relish taking out this anger on unsuspecting men. That's not to say that a college-age woman can't be cruel, but she simply has less reason to be so, and less experience at it.

Things are still progressing with Candy, and I don't know if it will work out in the wrong run, but I know one thing for sure--no more women over 25!!!



Saturday, May 8, 2010

Clearly that Friday was not a night for much sleeping, and I even posted a message to LJ trying to get a message to the director that I might forfeit that first game. Believe me, I did not want to crawl out of bed, and not just because Candy and her 21-year-old slamming body was laying there next to me. Loyal readers know that I strive for nothing but accuracy in my blog, and thus I have to be clear that the woman this video is not a dead ringer for Candy, but is still marginally similar, without the Asian features. Believe me, I searched quite a bit through the entire Playboy site (all in the name of verisimilitude) for an Korean-Irish model who closely resembles Candy, but I just couldn't find one.

Anyway, I did manage to find the willpower and energy to beg off Candy's protestations, and I left her apartment and sped back towards Buffalo. No delay at the border, so I won't blame my first round loss to Jason Ubieka on a low clock, nor will I blame it on my severe lack of sleep. Can't even blame the loss on tiles, despite being double-blanked. I opened with a bingo, and then I won a challenge, (D(E)LETERS*), to boot. Nope--my loss was due to an unfathomable miss, GUSHING. How I could miss a word like that, after specifically looking for ING words, is a mystery. Regardless, that game would set the tone for the tournament.

Double-blanked again (this would become a pattern), and I blew a turn (RIL(I)EVOS* no good--what's up with that), but this time I escaped David Leonard's clutches by 9 points.

I actually saw blanks against Libero Paollela for the win, but I'd much rather have had them against Chris Lipe. I'll credit Chris for T(R)OUPIAL, but with two blank bingos plus REPINES on top of that, I can't say I had much of a chance.

I managed one blank against Paul Epstein, enough for the win, but against Dr. Cornelius it was back to being double-blanked, my fourth time in six games. It looked like it was going to be one of thoooose tournaments.

Next opponent, Steve Ozorio, and--you guessed it--double-blanked again. Fortunately, he used both on a single bingo, and then he tried to play MILE(U)* (WTF???), and I was able to recapture the momentum and go on to win.

Finally had a killer game, once again against a very unhappy Mark Berg. Coincidentally enough, I challenged off DOORLIk(E)* after having played the phony at BAT, and in our Early Bird game I challenged off (CRINK)S* after having challenged off CRINK in Portland. The point: playing so many games does have its benefits.


I have to say, as much as I enjoyed my time with Candy, I was a bit relieved that she had to work on Saturday night. Otherwise I would have been seriously tempted to drive back up to Canada rather than catching up on some much needed sleep.

I suppose I should give a mixed shout out to Doctor Bird's, a Caribbean joint a ways up on Main Street. I say mixed because the oxtails were decent, but they screwed up my order and gave me cabbage instead of mixed vegetables. Cabbage--ugh!



Sunday, May 9, 2010

HOLY MOSES!!! SNOW!!! Just a few flakes, but still... snow!

Seriously, the snow wasn't an issue, which is more than I can say for my continued problem drawing blanks. Vince Castellano was my first double-blanker that morning, but I caught a break when he burned through his first blank and two of the last three esses too early. That allowed me to set up BI(Z)E above the triple line for a 53-point THARMS play to finally take the momentum. Of course, my real break was that Vince couldn't bingo with that other blank, otherwise this anecdote would have a different tone altogether.

Double blanked--again--by Randy Greenspan this time, meaning that I had drawn just 5 blanks in 20 games!!! AARRGHH!!! Yes, I missed DILIG(E)NT, which allowed Randy to play EXISTEN(T) along an adjacent line, but my bingo was a much harder find (EXISTENT is kind of obvious I think).

I had my second killer game against Cynthia Pughsley, who doesn't like to be referred to as "weaker", for enough spread to actually put myself in contention, if I could get past Christopher Sykes. Unfortunately, just like against Randy, the bar was much higher for me than for my opponent. Chris just had to find COUNTER(S) to score 83, while I would have needed to find, instead of HaPTENE, the following bingos to score enough: PHENETi(C),P(O)THEENs,EThEPH(O)N,PHENET(O)l,(N)EPeNTHE,T(OX)aPHENE. A few turns later, I would have needed to know (W)RATHILY (saw it), but instead my play of HAIRY gave Chris the much easier IR(R)IGATE, and after he bongoed with the easy INLACEd, the game was over.

Ted Rosen became the 8th opponent to double-blank me, and he and knocked me out of the money. At that point I just wanted to blow past my final game, against Vince again, and though I drew both blanks I could never bingo with the second, while Vince got down PTERINS for the win. Ugh.

So my rating got clobbered, and I sped away in disgust, but I soon forgot all about Scrabble and relished in the memories of my wonderful night with Candy. I mean, who cares how many blanks I drew when I had managed to find the single most compatible woman on the entire planet for me. Stephen Colbert once joked that Taylor Swift, 2009s country music phenom, was created in a test tube. Well it was hard not to think of Candy as having been created out of whole cloth just for me, such a perfect match was she.



Analysis

#1 - W - Berg    
-------------    
5 RIB  
0.9 ROOMIN(G)  
0.9 R(I)NK  
0 PERTEsT  
1.2 FA(ER)Y YAF(F)
0 AWA  
0 UH  
0 ISATINE  
3.4 JO(E)  
0 MOW  
2.9 (C)UD  
0 A(L)P  
22.1 (E)D  
0 (E)STANcIA  
     
     
#2 - L - Leonard    
----------------    
0 FEM  
0.5 FRIGS  
2.9 A(P)NEIC  
10 (A)DNEXA XI to leave ADEIN
9 MIDWI(F)E  
40.5 challenge (MIDWIFE)S/SERAL  
9.9 BI  
0 (BI)Z  
16.1 (t)UG  
5.6 (X)U  
4.2 LE(Z)  
0* (I)N  
0 TRANSIT  
     
     
#3 - W - Przybyszewski    
----------------------    
0 JAY  
4.3 PYA  
4.1 AMOK GO(P)IK
3.8 IGLUS unsure of (AMOK)S
0.5 VINO(S)  
0 RILIN(G)  
0 ZE(K)  
0 TEIID  
9.8 DUBS  
6.8 BO  
0 WUD  
0 Q(I)  
0 SEI  
--- M(A)R  
     
     
     
#4 - L - Castellano    
-------------------    
16.3 (M)AUSoLEA ASExUAL,A(M)USAbL (unsure)
0 FILE  
3.7 ROOSTED N7 DROO(LI)EST
0 MINX  
0 FLEW  
13.4 BE(F)IT  
23.1 GR(A)N(T) exch
0 QUIN  
12.9 HAO K(N)Ow!!!,A(N)KH!!!
4.1 WAKI(N)G  
2 D(A)NG  
43 challenge UPROUSE  
     
     
#5 - W - Ubieka    
---------------    
0.3 HAILED  
2.2 Q(U)ERN  
0 LEX  
0 (L)ECH  
48.8 (A)LIGN N(U)RSLING
0 R(E)FILM  
0 (c)OOEE  
0 ODE  
0 PRAISES  
10.1 (T)OEA miss (U)PRAISES
4.2 GROAT  
     
     
#6 - L - Przybyszewski    
----------------------    
0 W(I)FEY  
0 PILL  
3.5 K(E)NT  
3.5 MIG  
0 TAV  
0 EX  
0 DENT  
0 Q(I)  
4.5 DEF  
0 (D)ONGLE  
10 W(I)ST  
7 (ME)G  
     
     
     
#7 - W - Ubieka    
---------------    
0 JIG  
0 FLEW/(SAC)*  
9.4 G(A)UZE  
0 UNCI  
6.2 OF FEI(J)OA
9.3 APO  
9 ANNEX  
9.3 RAIMENT miss T(ESTATES) hook
9.8 THY  
4.4 BOOT  
11 N(O)RI  


1 - W - 2.6 (36.4)
2 - L - 7.6 (98.7)
3 - W - 2.3
4 - L - 9.9 (118.5)
5 - W - 6.0 (65.5)
6 - L - 2.4 (28.5)
7 - W - 6.2 (68.4)


Avg: 3.8




#1 - L - Ubieka    
---------------    
1.4 FAITHED  
7.1 AX AXION would have blocked all
3.6 APO(S)  
50.8 challenge FERRETE(R)  
0* AU(D)ILE  
48.1 HUING* GUSHING!!! (HOW DO I MISS THAT???)
0 M(O)C  
4.6 CAJ(O)N  
22.1 (M)A(G) AR(B)ALEST (unsure),RATA(B)LES (unsure)
7.3 RESLATE (C)LEAREST
1 U(S)  
     
     
#2 - W - Leonard    
----------------    
8 OVOLI 8H (gives up A(V)IGAtOR)  
1.6 (A)Y  
5.7 ARSENAT(E) SANTERA(S)
0 WI(E)LD  
0 JEW  
0 OURIE  
0 ZEE  
2.1 U(R)AEI  
21.3 lose turn (RIL(I)EVOS*)  
0 SILVER  
0 YOU  
10.1 TA(P)  
9.7 DE(V)  
0 CA(V)E  
23 (R)IB  
8 (P)IA didn't realize Dave was R stuck
     
     
     
#3 - W - Paollela    
-----------------    
0 CAVY  
22.9 BA(Y) rUBAI(Y)AT
7.5 (Q)UAI  
0 (A)EROLITh  
8 R(I)ND  
0 VRO(O)M  
4.8 PLAT(E)  
3.6 BOUT  
0 (P)ETERING  
5.8 FOLI(A)GEd  
31.9 D(O)CKET  
0 EFS  
0 WE(T)  
     
     
#4 - L - Lipe    
-------------    
6.1 MUFT(I)  
13.3 HM RHYME (I suck)
10.4 VERY GYVED (I really suck)
0 QI  
2.5 BL(I)NK  
12.2 EDGY  
12.4 FLOG  
0* BIC(E)  
8.5 (ROUND)ING  
0 LEO(P)ARDS  
4 AG(A)Z(E)  
     
     
#5 - W - Epstein    
----------------    
0 URINE  
37.1 UP SPIRULA
0 R(E)DTAILS  
0 PLACK  
0 REENAC(T)S  
0 M(A)X  
3 (O)OGEnIES  
8.9 DO(S)E JEL(L)O,JEL(L)ED
10.1 J(I)LT  
0.2 V(I)NY  
0 ZERO  
     
     
#6 - L - Cornelis    
-----------------    
40.5 RALLY RALLYES
0 GOX  
0 (C)EPE  
8.1 INSOLES unsure of (SPOUSAL)S
0 KAIF  
0 YIN  
9 (L)ITR(E)  
0 BODEGA  
4.9 DATE  
2.8 EAU  
0 H(AY)  
0 BRO(W)ED  
     
     
#7 - W - Ozorio    
---------------    
5 WITH WHIN,WHIR
0 J(A)RL  
0 ZONE  
6.8 KNOT  
3.8 FUR(A)N  
0 VEX  
0 GNA(R)  
5.7 (VEX)T  
7.4 RU(T)  
0 WISTER(I)A  
0 GIP  
0 BOCCE  
3.9 EDS  
0* Q(AT)  
0 OS  
0 OH  
     
     
#8 - W - Berg    
-------------    
0 HOWK  
0 QATS  
0 ZE(K)  
0 T(R)UNDLED  
10.2 I(N)IA  
0 EAU  
4.1 GLORiAS  
0.9 OM  
0.5 CENTERS  
0 (C)AY  
8.2 FAT(T)EN  
0 -EEIO  
0 EX  
23 JOIN  
0 OHS  
     
     
#9 - W - Castellano    
-------------------    
4.8 DYING  
0 AMOR(T)ISE  
11.8 TAW  
0 FAVA  
3.9 (L)OFTER  
0 BI(Z)E  
1.7 THARMS  
0.8 XI  
0 PIN(C)H  
9.1* RUB  
2 NEVI  
0 ION  
     
     
#10 - L - Greenspan    
-------------------    
0.9 AR  
4.6 DEAN Quackle wants me to keep fishing
1 LEAN  
0 FE(Y)ER  
0 JO  
0 LUNKS  
7.2 FRAIL  
0 DAD  
40 GLIT(Z)  
8.9 DIN  
0 RUIN  
60 challenge WH(I)PT  
0 CRIB  
   
#11 - W - Pughsley    
------------------    
1.2 EOBIONt  
0 EROSION  
20.3 GECK ICK(I)E(S)T,INK(I)E(S)T
1.5 INTERT(I)E(S) RETI(C)ENT
6.9 C(R)AP U(R)ACIL,J(A)LAPIC
0 JILT  
0 RUMOR  
5.9 LOXED  
0.1 DEITIES  
2.3 PHT  
0 (C)H(E)Z  
13 VOW  
9 T(OWE)E  
0 (X)U  
     
     
#12 - L - Sykes    
---------------    
8.7 (L)AX  
1.7 JEEP  
24.1 HaPTENE PHENETi(C),P(O)THEENs,EThEPH(O)N,PHENET(O)l,(N)EPeNTHE,T(OX)aPHENE
6.9 (P)EW  
0 VI(E)WED  
79.6 HAIRY (W)RATHILY (unsure)
0 (CUR)LINGS  
14.6 T(HE)RM  
13.6 KNIT  
6.3 ZA  
11.5 AVO  
8 ODEA SEA(F)OOD
0 OSE  
     
     
#13 - L - Rosen    
---------------    
6 WEAK  
7.6 G(R)OIN  
14.8 VIN(E)  
5.4 MENU  
3.3 APE  
7.9 DEY  
15.5 SLICE  
2.3 VETO  
22.7 (J)UPE  
0 IZAR  
0 OXID  
55 have to challenge SaLTERS  
0 COTTSA  
0 B(A)N  
     
     
#14 - L - Castellano    
--------------------    
0 FONT  
16 MAY miss (NEE)M hook!!!
0 CZAR  
0.4 LIPREaD LEPoRID
3.7 (B)RIG  
0 (R)EDE(S)  
3.1 IO(L)ITE  
7.7 ODAS  
12.5 VAN  
4.4 MAE  
34.7 Y(O)  
35 have to challenge (ENOUGH)S  
0 QU(I)Et  
0 LU(T)E  


1 - L - 11.2 (146)
2 - W - 5.6 (89.5)
3 - W - 6.5 (84.5)
4 - L - 6.3 (69.4)
5 - W - 5.5 (60.3)
6 - L - 5.4 (65.3)
7 - W - 2.0 (32.6)
8 - W - 3.1 (46.9)
9 - W - 2.8 (34.1)
10 - L - 9.4 (122.6)
11 - W - 4.3 (60.2)
12 - L - 13.6 (175)
13 - L - 10.0 (140.5)
14 - L - 8.4 (117.5)


Avg: 6.7



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