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This blog entry belongs with my LiveJournal entries for June 12-13, 2010, regarding the Scrabblin' in the Park III tournament in Charlotte. I have hidden this entry to avoid causing anger to Terry. While I do not think it is proper to hold back the truth to avoid angering a person, the issue is more complicated when the person in question appears to be emotionally unstable and prone to fits of rage and implied threats of suicide. So I write this, in keeping with my philosphical viewpoint that society would have fewer problems if people were completely transparent about all aspects of their lives, including their feelings towards other people, but I hide it, as a compromise with the reality that we live in a world where people have negative emotions.

It should go without saying that if you find this entry, you should not reveal it to Terry or anybody you think might reveal it to Terry. No good can come of this, and such an action would be, frankly, sociopathic.

Now, to the actual entry:

I booked the latest return flight I could find, 10:15 PM, to give myself plenty of time to decompress after the tournament. Rushing to and from the airport every week sucks, man.

With the extra time, I was able to head up Independence Blvd towards Central Ave, where I hoped to find a Latin American (not Mexican) restaurant. While looking at my map I noticed Albemarle Rd, and the name stood out in my memory. That was the location of the sorta Cuban restaurant where I had lunch during the Charlotte Showdown with David, Sam, Stefan, and Terry.

I did not have the address, but I remembered more or less where it was, so I turned off Independence onto Sharon Amity, then right on Albemarle, and about a mile down I found Costa del Sol. Inside, I noticed the same table where we had sat back in February, with the same "Cuba" painting on the windowsill, table #22, and I went ahead and sat there.

Naturally I had memories of that day. Unpleasant memories, actually, because that is when I discovered just how scary Terry can be in person. I'm sure many people have developed an image of Terry based on her blogs, but I have a more enlightened viewpoint in that regard. Well, I'm not sure "enlightened" is the right term, but I'm in a more-or-less unique position because of the content of my own blogs. I have no doubts that many people make assumptions about me from my writing, but I am in a perfect position to know that there is not necessarily a close relationship between the personality depicted in a blog and a person's "real" personality.

This definitely applies to me, and I had always hoped that the same applied to Terry, that she was all "bark" (in her blog) but no "bite" (in person). Well, I learned the opposite that day, when she went off on me for my simple statement that I found it cynical to attribute sinister motives to Kevin McArthy's acts of kindness towards Pete Ziegler. Whatever Kevin's past, I think it fits the dictionary definition of cynical to be convinced that he must be driving Pete around and lending him money (I think) because he hopes to get something out of it.

Well, Terry took extreme offense to this, and the hostility in her voice and manner was quickly evident as she laid into me. My memory now is fuzzy, but somehow I also found reason to say that I thought she brought a lot of her stress on herself, and to this Terry took even greater offence, at the suggestion that she was at all stressed. Well, even if her blogs don't reflect her true personality, it is not unreasonable for me, in the context of what she was saying at lunch, to conclude that she feels at least some stress. But Terry was hearing none of in, and the meal quickly turned unpleasant.

That's the day I decided that I didn't need to be exposed to that level of drama and hostility, and that I would avoid social situations with Terry from then on. Not such a big deal for me, since I'm usually off on my own anyway, but I might have to beg off on some lunches/dinners in the future, assuming that when Terry returns to Scrabble she will still have the usual circle of friends. I supposed that is not a certainty at this point given all the recent drama.